The current mood of writergirl88 at www.imood.com

-“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die life is a broken-winged bird, that cannot fly."-


Sunday, January 28, 2007

For Seniors

Does it seem like this time of year is just closing in on you, yet you've just discovered these big, bright, beautiful wings and you want to test them out? It sounds cliched, but it's so true! I guess when I took off on Saturday, I felt like I didn't want to go home. I couldn't stand having everything thrown at me, things in my room reminding me of the mountain of things I have to complete before June, my parents nagging at me about who knows what--so, I just started walking.
I just kept walking, sometimes running, just listening to my mp3 player, the sound of my feet hitting the ground, the breath in my lungs, and the scents of the country around me. The sky was beautiful on Saturday morning--crystal clear, cool, refreshing.
So I kept walking, just to see where my feet would take me. I don't regret making my parents worry, I was glad, even. I felt like running was the only statement I could make. I knew that as soon as I felt like it, I would either turn around or find a nearby phone. But I never really felt like it. I was having an adventure, just striking out on my own. If I felt worry at all, it was that someone would find me and make me go home.
Perhaps I live my life through metaphors. Perhaps just taking my own road at my own time means that I am ready to start living my own life. And I think I have been ready for a while now. But I'm just caged by the next five months and can't seem to grasp enough fortitude to keep plowing on blindly.
And waiting for the Peppedine letter is excruciating. I want to decide my future, to dream about it, but there is always a cloud swirling between me and knowing.
I guess that's how God works.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Beta Convention!

So, I finally attended Beta convention this weekend at the Hyatt in Dallas. It was very enjoyable, despite being cut short because of the ice storm. I've never really been in that area of Dallas before, so I found it interesting to see a new facet of a city I've lived around my entire life. I really liked a lot of the campaign promotional skits, and the talent contest finals were quite good as well. I particularly enjoyed the group that sang "Boondocks" and the girl who sang "Defying Gravity". I swear Idina Menzel inhabited her body for that brief period of time. I sort of wish I knew how much fun the convention was, maybe I would have skipped All Region last year when I was second chair and unimportant, and gotten to experince the unabridged version. I think what I enjoyed most, though, was a school trip without all of Mr. R's and the band's stupid rules. A boys' room, for instance, was right next door to a girls' room, and there were no silly things like keeping doors open and the 'no horizontal' rule when members of the opposite sex were in the same room. And yet, no one got pregnant, violated, arrested, or caused any kind of disruption. Glad to know Mr. R trusts us. And we didn't have a light's out rule either, and yet, everyone got sleep.
I can't wait for college

Thursday, November 23, 2006

A job at last!

Yayy! I can cross one thing off of my to-do list. I'm now working at Gadzooks, making $6.25 an hour. The managers are really nice and the hours aren't bad. I am somewhat anxious to see how working will play into my already busy schedule, but I need money badly. I just hope that I won't have to take off of work a lot for things like games and other school-related stuff.
Anyway, I hope everyone is having a happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

O, anxiety

It seems that everything this year is like one big, outrageous parfait: one thing one top of another. I know other seniors have college plans to worry about, but it seems I have set a standard so high that I'm going to kill myself trying to acheive it. I have to get my SAT scores up to get a good scholarship ANYWHERE. I have to apply to what seems like hundreds of scholarship programs, all wanting essays, essays, essays. I have to find a job. I have to practice and make region (and hopefully state). I have to practice my solo. I have to keep up with my school work. I have to study for AP exams. I need to attend weektime church services more regularly. I need to be a better leader in my youth group. I need (and want) to find time for my boyfriend. I have to keep my room spotless for potential house-tourers. I need to exercise. I need to work on my portfolio. I need to read my bible more. I need to organize my room.....
And the list continues. A church camp counselor gave a very accurate prediction for me this summer. She said that I would be swamped with things to do, and that one of the lies that the devil was going to tell me was that I couldn't do it (but that is a lie because all things are possible through Christ). I know that I can do it. It's just so easy to despair.
And it doesn't help that my parents feel it imperative to remind me of certain items on this checklist on a daily basis.

Monday, November 13, 2006

long time no update

So, to the dust motes and random cyberspace tidbits that read my blog, I am sorry for not updating lately. I've been really busy with school, ect., etc. I got some good news over the weekend..
I got into Harding, and was invited to enroll in the Honors College! Yay!
Now if I can just get some scholarhips and get my SAT scores up.
More later, hopefully..

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The closing of a book

Well, now that UIL is over, I feel as if I can finally breathe and concentrate on the plethora of other things that fight for prominence in my mind. Like ATSSB for instance, college applications, school, church, and Kreyton. I've been so caught up in everything that I have to get done in the next few weeks that I'm literally sick. I haven't been able to write, or draw, or read, or do anything besides homework, drill team, and band. I"m tired of coddling freshmen, I'm tired of running around with a bass drum, and I'm tired of being so selfish. It seems like senior year just heightens an adolescent's natural inclination to be self-centered. I want to be more servant-hearted, taking pride and desire in serving others, but at every turn I'm forced to think of myself again. It's getting hard for me to even pray for others, because there is so much worrying me. I just have to remember Matthew 6:25-27 "Therefor I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat o drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
And so I just have to keep telling myself that; that God will show me where I will be next year, that He will take care of my worries if I just give them to Him.
But that is so easier said than done.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.

Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.

While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.

Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.